Well, you know what they say—if you wanna make an omelet, you gotta drive through Utah. Or something to that effect. And drive through Utah I did today, and drive through Utah I will tomorrow. Okay, that’s enough with the Yoda talk. Without making any of the traditional generalizations about the Utah community, I will humbly observe that based on the way people drive in this state, it’s damn (am I allowed to say “damn” in Utah?) clear that most of them believe there’s an afterlife, and that they’re pretty confident they’re on the right side of it. Which is to say, I think I saw my life flash before my eyes like twelve billion times today. I swear that’s not an exaggeration. Fortunately the mooshy bears (shut up) were brave little troopers, Meep being a very meepy Meep for the duration of the car ride notwithstanding. When we hit the six hour mark of them being without water, it seemed a good time to hole up for the day. Other things observed in and about Utah today:
· Plenty o’ signage (well, two examples at least, but that’s a start) emphasizing causal (not casual!) relationships, i.e.:
Drowsy drivers cause accidents.
Dirty hands spread disease.
Both flow very nicely! I think I like this approach—more artful than “pull over” and “wash your hands”. In this spirit, and in light of my observations and experiences on the interstate today, I will offer my own:
Manic motorists meet their maker too soon.
Or, if that’s too alliterative, and you’re the sort to find that irritating:
Manic motorists reap their great reward before harvest time.
These probably need some work. Good thing I’m not en route to a sign maker’s apprenticeship! If such a thing exists.
· Although I’ve driven through parts of Utah and past Salt Lake City before, I began the uncharted territory leg of this journey today when I started driving on I 6-E. And my, oh my, what sights to see: red cliffs, magnificent mountains, forests, train tracks, winding roads, so much greenery…It would have been easier to enjoy the panorama had I not been constantly in fear for my life, but that had its own enhancing effects on the view…
· I get the BYUTV channel in my hotel room!
Leaving Twin Falls this morning, armed with a generously gifted cooler full of delectable cheese enchiladas and cranberry orange muffins, I felt a bit like Frodo leaving the shire (shut up) and couldn’t help but wonder if perhaps I was embarking on a wild Orc chase and in turn had to question the wisdom of this. But the open road beckons, and there is a siren song that seeps through the waves that hover over hot asphalt. So onward and upward, or downward and eastward, as the case may be. I think I’ll probably end up in New Mexico late afternoon or early evening tomorrow—we shall see.
In other, final news, Spartacus gave me the scare of my life this evening when he mysteriously went AWOL after I had just re-entered my hotel room after a quick trip back to the car. Horrific images of Sparty’s untimely demise on the interstate—which is right next to the hotel—immediately filled my mind, until I administered the catnip test and lured him out from an almost nonexistent crevice behind the bed that I can’t believe he—at nearly thirteen pounds (all that guilt tuna is catching up)—fits in, or can possibly find comfortable. This of course is where he’s napping right now.
No comments:
Post a Comment