More inauthentic Texas cuisine!

"Don't tell me you believe the lie," said the friendly H.E.B. employee as I surveyed the "healthy" section of the cereal aisle.

"We have to believe in something."

"There are Frosted Flakes over there."

"I bought frozen cookie dough, so it's [these pretenses at healthy eating] all a sham."

***

Well, given that this state is famed for its barbecue, it was only a matter of time before I tried my hand at it, but I think we can safely achieve consensus that the stripe of barbecue for which Texas is famed has nothing to do with marinating tofu in barbecue sauce and subsequently broiling it, which is what I tried my hand at last night as part of my It Is Not Scary to Cook With Tofu campaign.

The verdict? It tasted like barbecue sauce, which is fine, because I like barbecue sauce, and this was good barbecue sauce, courtesy of H.E.B.'s "upscale" sister, Central Market, which I have yet to visit, but some of whose products (including frozen cookie dough—cranberry walnut and chocolate chunk pecan!) can be obtained at its more plebian permutation. Maybe firm tofu is the way to go? T.B.D.! Which rhymes with H.E.B....

So yes, I intend to slowly savor the leftovers whilst uneasily mulling over man's inhumanity to man....